Options for Cremations

There are different options in the cremation services offered in Sterling Heights, MI that you may not be aware of. Many people have the idea that cremations don’t come with any options for paying their final respects to their loved ones.

However, there are several options that can be incorporated to funeral planning that includes cremation. Families can choose from these to ensure that the wishes of their deceased loved one are met and that the needs of the family are met as well.

The options for cremation cover a wide array of choices that spans from basic cremation to cremation that includes everything in a traditional funeral except that the body is cremated instead of buried.

As you’re working with your funeral home director to make funeral arrangements, it’s good to know what options can be included with cremation as the final disposition.

The first option with cremation is to have a simple cremation with no services. This option is known as direct cremation. While choosing not to have a viewing, a funeral, or a memorial may seem, to some people, to be a indication that the deceased person wasn’t loved and won’t be missed by their family, this is seldom, if ever, the case.

Some people specify, before they die, that they don’t want any kind of service to remember them or to mourn their death. The family that honors their wishes is to be commended, because undoubtably there are some family members who would like a remembrance of some sort.

In direct cremations, which happen between 24 and 48 hours after a person has died, the body is transported directly from the location of death to the location where the cremation will take place. There is a rigorous process that ensures that the person’s identity is verified and the family gets the right cremation remains after the cremation takes place.

The second option for cremation is to have a memorial service. This can take place before or after the cremation. Memorial services are often a preferred way to remember and pay respects to someone who has died because they can be held anytime (since the deceased doesn’t have to be present), even weeks, months, or years in the future.

Because family members are so scattered and time is needed to make preparations to meet in one place, having a memorial service gives everyone plenty of time to make travel arrangements and to arrange for the personal time off they will need to travel.

A third option for cremations is to have a private viewing before cremation. These viewings are generally only for immediate family and very close friends, so it’s a very small group that gathers to pay their respects to and says goodbye to the deceased.

Having a private viewing for a small, intimate group before cremation is a way to get closure and to be able to openly grieve the loss of a loved one – without the family and friends feeling like they are on display for the whole world to critique their every word and action – before they are cremated.

A final option for cremations is to have a viewing and a funeral service before cremation. This option incorporates all the elements of a traditional funeral, with the only difference being in the final disposition. In most traditional funerals, the last step is underground burial of the body, while in cremations with traditional funeral elements, the last step is cremation of the body.

For more information about cremation services available in Sterling Heights, MI, our caring and knowledgeable staff at Lee-Ellena Funeral is here to assist you. You can visit our funeral home at 46530 Romeo Plank Rd., Macomb, MI 48044, or you can call us today at (586) 412-8999.

Planning for the Death of a Healthy Spouse

Funerals at funeral homes in Sterling Heights, MI may be the furthest thing from your mind right now. You and your spouse are healthy, working, and moving forward in life fulfilling the hopes and dreams you share.

However, as the years pass, the inevitability of death creeps in, even if both you and your spouse are the epitome of good health. While you’re healthy, though, is the time when you and your spouse, as a team, should be preparing for the time when either one of you might not be around.

Many people think that if they have a substantial life insurance policy, then they’ve done all they need to do to prepare for death and to ensure that their spouse is financially secure after they’re gone.

While everyone should have life insurance (whole life insurance is the best option, because even though premiums are higher than on term life insurance policies, the rates are locked in at the time you bought the policy, and it won’t expire before you do), there is much more that married couples should do to prepare for the death of one of the spouses.

One thing that should be done regularly is to make sure your wills are up-to-date. It’s not unusual for people to create a will sometime during their lives (usually at a momentous event like marriage or the birth or adoption of a child), put it away, and forget about it.

However, life changes over time and some of the information in your original wills may be obsolete or may have changed. It’s a good idea to sit down and review your wills every year and make sure everything in them is currently accurate and relevant.

If changes need to be made, then you can either have your attorney draw up new wills, or you can use online or offline software to make the changes you need to make. When you change and update your wills, sign and date them, at a minimum (it’s best if they’re witnessed and notarized as well, but signing and dating them makes them legally-binding instruments).

Shred all the copies of previous wills so that there will be no confusion among those you leave behind as to what your current wishes and intentions are with regard to your estate and your bequests.

Another way couples can prepare for the death of a spouse is to make sure that both spouses are on primary bank accounts, major credit cards, investment accounts, and retirement accounts.

However, it’s imperative that both spouses also have a bank account and at least one major credit card in their name only as well. This builds a separate credit history for each spouse that will make getting mortgages or other loans easier after one spouse dies.

Another way that couples should prepare for the death of a spouse is to manage income and household bills together. It’s not unusual, with most married couples, for one spouse to handle the finances and the other spouse to have very little knowledge about them. While that’s fine when both spouses are alive, it can be a real detriment when one spouse – the one who handled all the household finances – dies and the other spouse doesn’t know what’s going on.

For information about funerals at funeral homes in Sterling Heights, MI, our compassionate and experienced staff at Lee-Ellena Funeral Home can help. You can come by our funeral home at 46530 Romeo Plank Rd., Macomb, MI, 48044 or you can contact us today at (586) 412-8999.

The Lowdown on Cremations

Cremations are among the cremation services offered in Clinton Township, MI. As more Americans are choosing to be cremated rather than buried underground, it’s important to understand cremations and to put old ideas about what happens to rest.

Cremations are increasingly popular in the United States for very practical reasons. One reason is that are more options for what to do with cremation remains, which gives people an opportunity to really personalize what happens after their final disposition.

Another reason is because Americans have become more mobile over the last 60 years, and often people die in places far away from where they were born. At the end of their lives, however, many people want to go home to be close to family members who have already died.

Cremation remains are much easier to transport from place to place than uncremated remains (although this can be done as well) and cremation remains can either be buried in a cemetery near family or they can be scattered on family property.

Finally, a reason for the increase in American cremations is that cemetery space, especially in areas with very large populations, is running out. Since cremation remains can be stored upward in mausoleums or columbariums, people can be inurned without using ground space.

So, what do you need to know about cremation?

First of all, cremations are very popular in the western part of the United States and states in the eastern part that are small. These include the states of Vermont, Maine, and New Hampshire in the east and Hawaii, Washington, Montana, Oregon, Nevada, and Arizona.

The states where cremations are least popular include South Dakota, Utah, Arkansas, West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Texas.

The practice of cremation is not new. The Cremation Society of North America estimates that the practice of cremation dates back to 3000 BC. We certainly know that it was a traditional form of final disposition in ancient Greece and Rome, since it is discussed in literary classics from both civilizations from that period.

The practice of cremation fell out of favor in the Western world with the establishment of Christianity as the true religion. It wasn’t until the personal physician to Queen Victoria of Great British discussed the public health benefits of cremation over burial in the middle of the 19th century that cremation came back on the scene.

Although the first crematorium in the United States was built in 1876, cremation as a general means of final disposition did not take hold with most Americans for another century. As environment concerns came to the forefront in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s, so did the philosopy that cremations were more environmentally-friendly than underground burials.

As the environment has become an increasingly-urgent matter to attend to for the entire world, the philosophy of cremations having less of an impact on the stability and health of the environment has grown, so that now more than half of Americans decide to be cremated when they die.

A final word about cremations. Cremations are done one at a time. Cremation chambers, which are inside the crematory, are only big enough for one human body. Each cremation is done with dignity and honor, and painstaking steps are followed to ensure that cremation remains belong to the right person and they are given to the correct family.

For more information about cremation services in Clinton Township, MI, our caring and knowledgeable staff at Lee-Ellena Funeral is here to assist you. You can visit our funeral home at 46530 Romeo Plank Rd., Macomb, MI 48044, or you can call us today at (586) 412-8999.

Your Finances: Death Cleaning Before You Die

Before funerals at funeral homes in Clinton Township, MI, many people start downsizing their physical lives as their children grow up and leave home and then retirement comes and they realize they’ve got more time behind them than they do ahead of them.

Big houses get sold in favor of smaller houses or retirement community living. Garages, attics, and closets get cleaned. Things of value are given to family members, while other things are either donated to charities or thrown away. The goal becomes making life simple.

But, while many people make sure to clean out their physical lives, they don’t always think about cleaning their financial lives.

Maybe the idea of cleaning your financial life before you die appeals to you, but you don’t know how to start. The first thing you’ll need to do before you start is to get a clear picture of what and where all your financial accounts are.

Financial accounts include bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement accounts, and credit card accounts. If you’re over the age of 50, then it is essential to start cleaning up your finances and making sure that you don’t have any financial messes left for your children to clean up after you’re gone.

The first step to cleaning up your finances is to consolidate your financial accounts. If you have older 401(k) and IRA accounts, you can ask your employer if you can fold them into the retirement plan you have with them, or you can simply consolidate all of them into one new IRA account.

Many people have bank accounts scattered at several different banks. Once you’re sure all payments have cleared, consolidate all your checking accounts into one checking account at one bank. Do the same for your savings account.

Make sure that the bank that you consolidate the checking and savings accounts into has full-service online banking, including digital check deposits, automatic bill payments, transfer capabilities between accounts, and manual bill payments.

As you move forward, if life takes you to a new city, keep the same bank so you’re not constantly opening and closing bank accounts, increasing the possibility that you’ve got several open with several banks.

The second way to clean up your finances is to automate bill payments for bills that are recurring and are for the same amount on the same date every month. This would include bills such as cable or satellite services, cell phone service, mortgage payments, and car payments. If they’re automatically paid each month, then you have less to worry about whether it’s been paid or not, which is a concern as people age.

Another way to clean up your finances is to pay off debt. Instead of leasing a new car every couple of years, convert the lease to a car payment (this will cost you extra money in the short-term, but it will save you money in the long run). If you are able, double your monthly mortgage payments to get your home paid off more quickly.

Pay off credit cards as quickly as possible. Once you get them paid off, keep only one or two major credit cards and one gas card, if you have any. It’s best to keep the credit cards that you’ve had opened the longest (these also probably have lower annual interest rates).

Going forward, use the credit cards only for what you are able to pay in full each month. Otherwise, use only your debit card or cash to make purchases.

For information about funerals at funeral homes in Clinton Township, MI, our compassionate and experienced staff at Lee-Ellena Funeral Home can help. You can come by our funeral home at 46530 Romeo Plank Rd., Macomb, MI, 48044 or you can contact us today at (586) 412-8999.

Grief and Focus

After cremations, which are one of the cremation services offered in Macomb, MI, you will find that the fullness of grief settles in to stay for a while. This is completely normal, but you may be surprised at some of the effects that grief has on your life and your body.

While you may struggle more with getting good sleep and you may find yourself feeling like you’re constantly fighting the blues, even if you’re normally an optimistic person, and doldrums, you may find that you have a hard time staying focused and concentrating on things.

If you are someone who normally has laser-sharp focus and concentration, this can be very disconcerting and may leave you feeling anxious because it is so out of character for you.

First, relax. This is one of the normal side effects of grief over the loss of a loved one. Not only is your body affected, but so is your brain.

Grief releases many chemicals in the brain as you work your way through accepting that your loved one is gone, adjusting to that new reality (while recalling memories of them), and adapting to a life going forward without them.

These chemicals produce sometimes conflicting emotions that you may have a hard time understanding and resolving, so they stay at the forefront of your mind – in conflict – as you sort through them, analyze them, and work to make sense of them.

All this mental work going on in your brain can leave very little time or space for the normal demands of day-to-day life. As a result, you may forget simple things. You may lose things. You may find doing focused tasks or work difficult, if not impossible.

You may feel antsy and anxious and find yourself getting up a lot just to walk around and try to shake off the lack of concentration (this doesn’t work, by the way, but walking is good for you because it can release some of the energy and calm down some of the anxiety and restlessness).

You may also feel mentally exhausted all the time, which can translate into not being able to focus on or concentrate on things that you normally enjoy doing, such as reading or doing hobbies.

There are, however, some things that won’t eliminate this normal part of grieving completely, but can help you make sense of it and give your brain some space to handle other things.

Journaling is a great way to clear your mind. As long as your thoughts – disparate and conflicting – stay in your mind, they will take up all the space and demand your constant attention. Writing them down, even if you don’t get answers or you can’t resolve them right away, gives them concrete form in black and white (don’t do this on a computer – use a pen and paper).

Writing can give clarity, even if it doesn’t always give answers (although sometimes you’ll find that you can get to the root of an emotion or a thought process when you simply start writing down your thoughts and feelings).

Another thing you must do is be patient with yourself and with the grieving process. It has a life and a timeline of its on. To subvert that or try to take a shortcut out of it to get your life – and your brain – back to normal will mean that you’re only kicking that can down the road into the future where, at some point, you will have to deal with it (and all the additional stuff that has been added to it with time).

For information about cremation services in Macomb, MI, our caring and knowledgeable staff at Lee-Ellena Funeral is here to assist you. You can visit our funeral home at 46530 Romeo Plank Rd., Macomb, MI 48044, or you can call us today at (586) 412-8999.

Funeral Home Etiquette

If you’re attending your first funeral at funeral homes in Macomb, MI, you may wonder what you should and shouldn’t do and say. Funerals are unique in that there are certain unspoken rules about what we should do and what we should say, and it can be unnerving to walk into this kind of atmosphere for the first time.

There are some things you should not do when you’re attending a funeral. One of those is to bring very young or overactive children. Funerals are, by nature, solemn and quiet events. This is to show respect to the grieving family by acknowledging and sharing in the sadness and sorrow of their loss, and to show respect to the memory of their loved one who has died.

Very young children can be fussy and children who are overactive can be disruptive. This disturbs the peace of a funeral. If you have very young or very rambunctious children, you should leave them with a sitter so that you don’t disrupt the atmosphere of the funeral.

Another thing you should not do when you attend a funeral is to avoid the family receiving line. You may be fearful that you won’t say the right thing or the line may seem too long to wait in. However, bereaved families need support and encouragement as they are beginning the journey of grief for their loved one who has died. A simple “I’m sorry for your loss,” or a quick hug will go a very long way in providing them with comfort.

Don’t leave your cell phone on. The best rule of thumb is to leave your cell phone in your car, so you don’t have to remember to mute it before going in to the funeral home. Believe it or not, there was actually a time when cell phones didn’t exist, and phone calls and messages waited until people got home. Nothing but the funeral should be on your radar while you’re there.

Don’t forget to sign the guest book at a funeral. There will usually be someone at the door of the funeral parlor to direct you to the guest book. This book will be given to the family after the funeral so they can see who attended the funeral of their loved one (this time will be a blur for them, so they won’t remember everyone who came to pay their respects).

If you come with your spouse or another family member, each of you should sign your guest book. Be sure to print your first and last name (and include the city and state where you live) if your signature is hard to read.

Don’t forget to send the family a gift – or make a donation to a charity they’ve specified – and a sympathy card. One of the nicest gifts you can give to the family is a plant that flowers. Send it to their home, so that they can either keep it alive inside or so that they can plant it outside in memory of their loved one.

For the sympathy card, choose a simple card that is blank inside and write a short note. Remember to sign your full name, and to include your mailing address on the envelope.

For more information about funeral etiquette at funeral homes in Macomb, MI, our compassionate and experienced staff at Lee-Ellena Funeral Home can help. You can come by our funeral home at 46530 Romeo Plank Rd., Macomb, MI, 48044 or you can contact us today at (586) 412-8999.

What to Bring to the Funeral Home

Funeral arrangements are one of the cremation services offered in Sterling Heights, MI. Usually within a day or two of the death of your loved one, you will have a meeting with the funeral director at the funeral home where your loved one was taken after they died.

This meeting will be to discuss and decide on funeral arrangements for your loved one. The funeral director will help you and your family with all the details of these arrangements, and will take of executing your wishes after the meeting.

However, there are things that you will need to bring with you to the meeting at the funeral home, so that nothing keeps the funeral director and the funeral home from serving all your needs after the death of your loved one.

One that you’ll need to bring are clothes. No matter whether your loved one is going to be cremated before a memorial service is held for them or they are going to be cremated after a viewing/visitation and funeral service, they will need to be dressed.

If your loved one was a man, be sure to bring a shirt, undergarments, pants, jacket, and tie (if you want). Shoes are not necessary, since the feet will be covered even in a viewing, but many people bring socks.

For women, bring the outfit they wanted to buried in (women tend to pick these out before they die) and undergarments. Again, shoes are not necessary, but many people pay tribute to the memory of people’s tendency toward having cold feet, so they bring socks.

If your loved one wore glasses or a wedding ring, you can bring those as well. They will be returned to you before your loved one is cremated.

You should also bring a picture of your loved one for the memorial or funeral service program and for the obituary. This can be an old picture, such as a high school or college picture, or it can be a recent or current picture.

The funeral director will need biographical information for the death certificate that will be registered with the state and for the obituary (if they are composing it). This information includes your loved one’s Social Security number, date of birth, city of birth, wedding date, parents’ full names and places of birth, siblings’ (and spouses’) names, children’s (and spouses’) names, and profession.

If the funeral home is composing the obituary, they will also need a biography of your loved one that highlights the accomplishments (personal and professional) of their life.

Military veterans are entitled to funeral benefits that include free inurnment in national cemeteries, free grave markers, and funeral honors (usually performed by local military reserve units or veteran’s volunteer groups). To receive these benefits, you’ll need to give the funeral director a copy (not the original) of your loved one’s military discharge orders (Form DD-214). The funeral director will coordinate all the arrangements with the local Department of Veterans Affairs.

If your loved one has funeral insurance and/or life insurance, you should bring copies of those policies to this meeting with the funeral director. Funeral insurance is a separate insurance policy that is specifically designated to cover your loved one’s final expenses.

For more information about cremation services in Sterling Heights, MI, our caring and knowledgeable staff at Lee-Ellena Funeral is here to assist you. You can visit our funeral home at 46530 Romeo Plank Rd., Macomb, MI 48044, or you can call us today at (586) 412-8999.

Guide to Funeral Attire

If you’re wondering about funeral attire at funeral homes in Sterling Heights, MI, here are some time-tested guidelines about what you should – and should not – wear.

Don’t be surprised if you attend a funeral and you see people wearing all kinds of attire. You may see people dressed very formally. You may see people dressed in business casual clothing. And you may see people dressed way down, as if they are heading out to a recreational activity or getting ready to do yardwork.

This may be very disorienting and confusing as you wonder whose attire is appropriate for a funeral and whose is not. The reason that you see this wide and disparate range of attire is that some people have been taught about appropriate funeral attire, and they dress in a manner that shows respect to the deceased and the bereaved family.

Other people, who perhaps have never attended a funeral before, have not been taught that how they dress can be a symbol of respect or disrespect, as well as a reflection of the soberness of some events that demands different attire than what they normally wear throughout the course of the rest of their lives.

If you’re unsure about what is appropriate and what is not appropriate attire for a funeral, consider these broad thoughts about funerals and their purpose. A funeral is a ceremony that enables a grieving family to be comforted during the loss of a loved one. It is also a ceremony that pays tribute to someone who has died.

Therefore, the focus of funerals is the family and the deceased, not the other mourners who are attending. So, if what you are thinking about wearing would draw attention away from the family and the deceased to yourself, then you shouldn’t wear it.

Extremely casual clothing like shorts, t-shirts, jeans, baseball caps, flip-flops, sandals, and tennis shoes is not appropriate funeral attire. Because this type of attire makes the people wearing it stand out in the crowd of mourners, it naturally draws attention away from the bereaved family and their loved one who has died. It can also give the impression of being disrespectful and insensitive.

By the same token, provocative clothing that fits like a second skin, has plunging necklines, and hems that are extremely short (if you have to keep pulling a skirt down, it’s too tight and too short) is also inappropriate attire for a funeral.

If you’ve never attended a funeral and don’t know what attire you have that is acceptable, look through your closet and pick out an outfit that you would wear for a professional job interview at a corporation.

Remember that even if professional corporations have a business casual or casual dress code for employees, they expect interviewees for employment to dress more formally because that is part of what they use to evaluate whether they will hire them or not.

So, for women attending a funeral, dress modestly in a professional outfit that is black, dark brown, navy or gray. Wear a simple dress or nice pantsuit with a nice blouse. Keep jewelry to a minimum. Wear dress flat shoes.

Men attending a funeral should wear dark dress pants, a dress shirt, and a blazer. Ties are optional, but if they’re worn, they should be dark and plain. Dress shoes that are neat and clean should be worn.

For more information about funeral attire at funeral homes in Mount Sterling Heights, MI, our compassionate and experienced staff at Lee-Ellena Funeral Home can help. You can come by our funeral home at 46530 Romeo Plank Rd., Macomb, MI, 48044 or you can contact us today at (586) 412-8999.

Attending a Funeral

When you attend a funeral at funeral homes in Clinton Township, MI, you are there to show support for a family who has lost a loved one and to show respect for the person who has died. There are things that are appropriate to do at a funeral and things that are not appropriate to do.

Attending a funeral is never easy, even if you didn’t know the deceased well or you didn’t know them at all, but know or are friends with a member of their immediate family. You may find that you are unexpectedly feeling emotionally vulnerable when you’re attending a funeral, so one of the things that you need to do is to make sure to keep your own emotions in check while you’re attending the funeral.

Your presence at the funeral should be respectful, caring, and empathetic toward the family who has lost their loved one, so one of the things that is appropriate is to express your condolences to the family. If they choose not to have a viewing or visitation, then one way to show your condolences is to send a plant or floral arrangement to the funeral home for the funeral, or to make a donation to a charity that the family requests that contributions be given to.

When you offer condolences, make sure to let the family know how you are connected to their loved one, whether you’re a friend of one of the immediate family members, were a coworker of their loved one, or you knew them from a church or fraternal organization.

If you send a floral arrangement or plant or make a charitable contribution in the deceased’s name, be sure to include your full name so that the family doesn’t confuse you with someone else who may share the same first name as yours.

Be sure to sign the guest register at the funeral. Include your full name and your address so that the family has this information when they are sending thank-you notes after the funeral for gifts, flowers, and charitable donations.

During the funeral service, be sure to mute your cellphone or turn it off altogether. There is nothing more jarring – or disrespectful – than to hear a ringtone (and with the plethora of ringtones available, some of these may be very inappropriate) during a solemn service like a funeral.

Do not be late to the funeral. Be sure to leave enough time to allow for heavy traffic or a traffic accident so that you are not arriving at the funeral service after the it has begun. The disruption caused by a latecomer trying to find a seat is very disrespectful to the deceased and to the grieving family.

Be thoughtful about seating at the funeral. The first three rows are usually reserved for the immediate family, extended family, and close friends of the deceased. The appropriate way to find a seat at a funeral is to find the next available seat at the back (mourners typically fill in the seating from back to front).

Do not sit in an aisle seat if there are other seats available further inside the row. People who arrive after you should not have to crawl over you to get a place to sit.

Do not show up at a funeral uninvited. Public funerals are considered to be open to anyone who would like to attend. Private funerals, on the other hand, are invitation-only, where the family specifically invites the people that they want to attend the funeral. If the obituary says that the funeral is private and you don’t receive an invitation, then you should not attend.

For more information about attending funerals at funeral homes in Clinton Township, MI, our compassionate and experienced staff at Lee-Ellena Funeral Home can help. You can come by our funeral home at 46530 Romeo Plank Rd., Macomb, MI, 48044 or you can contact us today at (586) 412-8999.

What to Say and Do When Someone Dies

Funeral visitations and viewings are some of the cremation services offered in Macomb, MI. Many people will hold funeral viewings or visitations, and services before their loved one is cremated. If you knew the deceased or you know the family (or a specific family member), then you should attend the visitation or viewing and the funeral service, unless the family has specifically requested that these be private and by invitation only, and you have not received an invitation.

You might not have any qualms about attending the funeral service for someone who has died, because this is typically a service where you don’t have to interact or engage with the family of the deceased.

However, attending the viewing or visitation does require one-on-one interaction with the bereaved family, and you may not be sure what to say or do when you talk with them. Here are a few things that should help make this easier.

One of the simplest and most heartfelt things that you can do as soon as you hear of the death is to send a card letting the family know that you are sorry for their loss. You don’t have to run out and buy a sympathy card.

If you have a card with a beautiful cover that is blank on the inside, then you have all you need. If you knew the deceased, be sure to acknowledge them or share a warm memory of them in the card. Sign your full name so that the family knows exactly who you are. Get the card mailed as soon as possible.

At the visitation or viewing, simply be sincere when you talk with the family. If you knew their loved one well, then be sure to let each family member know what their loved one meant to you and how sad you are for their loss.

Be sure not to be negative or disparaging about the deceased. For a grieving family, this can be very painful, hurtful, and can intensify the grief they are feeling. They need to be supported, encouraged, and comforted, so be kind and empathetic to what they are going through.

There are many funeral clichés that people instinctively fall back on in times of loss and grief. While they may be well-meaning, they can feel dismissive, disrespectful, and cold to the bereaved family. Some of these include phrases such as, “You’re better off without them,” “I know how you feel,” “At least they’re not suffering anymore,” “You’ll feel better soon,” “You need to be strong,” or “At least you had them for a little while.”

Don’t linger talking with family members, because there are other people in the line for the visitation or viewing who want to talk with them. If you monopolize their time, then they may not be able to greet all the mourners who’ve come to offer them support and encouragement, and this may leave some mourners feeling slighted.

If you want to talk to the family or a specific family member at length, call them after the viewing or visitation and ask if you can stop by and visit with them. Be sure to bring something with you when you visit. You can bring something as simple as a plant or you can bring food or grocery items.

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