Monthly Archives: February 2020

cremation services offered in Macomb, MI

Grief and Focus

After cremations, which are one of the cremation services offered in Macomb, MI, you will find that the fullness of grief settles in to stay for a while. This is completely normal, but you may be surprised at some of the effects that grief has on your life and your body.

While you may struggle more with getting good sleep and you may find yourself feeling like you’re constantly fighting the blues, even if you’re normally an optimistic person, and doldrums, you may find that you have a hard time staying focused and concentrating on things.

If you are someone who normally has laser-sharp focus and concentration, this can be very disconcerting and may leave you feeling anxious because it is so out of character for you.

First, relax. This is one of the normal side effects of grief over the loss of a loved one. Not only is your body affected, but so is your brain.

Grief releases many chemicals in the brain as you work your way through accepting that your loved one is gone, adjusting to that new reality (while recalling memories of them), and adapting to a life going forward without them.

These chemicals produce sometimes conflicting emotions that you may have a hard time understanding and resolving, so they stay at the forefront of your mind – in conflict – as you sort through them, analyze them, and work to make sense of them.

All this mental work going on in your brain can leave very little time or space for the normal demands of day-to-day life. As a result, you may forget simple things. You may lose things. You may find doing focused tasks or work difficult, if not impossible.

You may feel antsy and anxious and find yourself getting up a lot just to walk around and try to shake off the lack of concentration (this doesn’t work, by the way, but walking is good for you because it can release some of the energy and calm down some of the anxiety and restlessness).

You may also feel mentally exhausted all the time, which can translate into not being able to focus on or concentrate on things that you normally enjoy doing, such as reading or doing hobbies.

There are, however, some things that won’t eliminate this normal part of grieving completely, but can help you make sense of it and give your brain some space to handle other things.

Journaling is a great way to clear your mind. As long as your thoughts – disparate and conflicting – stay in your mind, they will take up all the space and demand your constant attention. Writing them down, even if you don’t get answers or you can’t resolve them right away, gives them concrete form in black and white (don’t do this on a computer – use a pen and paper).

Writing can give clarity, even if it doesn’t always give answers (although sometimes you’ll find that you can get to the root of an emotion or a thought process when you simply start writing down your thoughts and feelings).

Another thing you must do is be patient with yourself and with the grieving process. It has a life and a timeline of its on. To subvert that or try to take a shortcut out of it to get your life – and your brain – back to normal will mean that you’re only kicking that can down the road into the future where, at some point, you will have to deal with it (and all the additional stuff that has been added to it with time).

For information about cremation services in Macomb, MI, our caring and knowledgeable staff at Lee-Ellena Funeral is here to assist you. You can visit our funeral home at 46530 Romeo Plank Rd., Macomb, MI 48044, or you can call us today at (586) 412-8999.

funeral homes in Macomb, MI

Funeral Home Etiquette

If you’re attending your first funeral at funeral homes in Macomb, MI, you may wonder what you should and shouldn’t do and say. Funerals are unique in that there are certain unspoken rules about what we should do and what we should say, and it can be unnerving to walk into this kind of atmosphere for the first time.

There are some things you should not do when you’re attending a funeral. One of those is to bring very young or overactive children. Funerals are, by nature, solemn and quiet events. This is to show respect to the grieving family by acknowledging and sharing in the sadness and sorrow of their loss, and to show respect to the memory of their loved one who has died.

Very young children can be fussy and children who are overactive can be disruptive. This disturbs the peace of a funeral. If you have very young or very rambunctious children, you should leave them with a sitter so that you don’t disrupt the atmosphere of the funeral.

Another thing you should not do when you attend a funeral is to avoid the family receiving line. You may be fearful that you won’t say the right thing or the line may seem too long to wait in. However, bereaved families need support and encouragement as they are beginning the journey of grief for their loved one who has died. A simple “I’m sorry for your loss,” or a quick hug will go a very long way in providing them with comfort.

Don’t leave your cell phone on. The best rule of thumb is to leave your cell phone in your car, so you don’t have to remember to mute it before going in to the funeral home. Believe it or not, there was actually a time when cell phones didn’t exist, and phone calls and messages waited until people got home. Nothing but the funeral should be on your radar while you’re there.

Don’t forget to sign the guest book at a funeral. There will usually be someone at the door of the funeral parlor to direct you to the guest book. This book will be given to the family after the funeral so they can see who attended the funeral of their loved one (this time will be a blur for them, so they won’t remember everyone who came to pay their respects).

If you come with your spouse or another family member, each of you should sign your guest book. Be sure to print your first and last name (and include the city and state where you live) if your signature is hard to read.

Don’t forget to send the family a gift – or make a donation to a charity they’ve specified – and a sympathy card. One of the nicest gifts you can give to the family is a plant that flowers. Send it to their home, so that they can either keep it alive inside or so that they can plant it outside in memory of their loved one.

For the sympathy card, choose a simple card that is blank inside and write a short note. Remember to sign your full name, and to include your mailing address on the envelope.

For more information about funeral etiquette at funeral homes in Macomb, MI, our compassionate and experienced staff at Lee-Ellena Funeral Home can help. You can come by our funeral home at 46530 Romeo Plank Rd., Macomb, MI, 48044 or you can contact us today at (586) 412-8999.

cremation services offered in Sterling Heights, MI

What to Bring to the Funeral Home

Funeral arrangements are one of the cremation services offered in Sterling Heights, MI. Usually within a day or two of the death of your loved one, you will have a meeting with the funeral director at the funeral home where your loved one was taken after they died.

This meeting will be to discuss and decide on funeral arrangements for your loved one. The funeral director will help you and your family with all the details of these arrangements, and will take of executing your wishes after the meeting.

However, there are things that you will need to bring with you to the meeting at the funeral home, so that nothing keeps the funeral director and the funeral home from serving all your needs after the death of your loved one.

One that you’ll need to bring are clothes. No matter whether your loved one is going to be cremated before a memorial service is held for them or they are going to be cremated after a viewing/visitation and funeral service, they will need to be dressed.

If your loved one was a man, be sure to bring a shirt, undergarments, pants, jacket, and tie (if you want). Shoes are not necessary, since the feet will be covered even in a viewing, but many people bring socks.

For women, bring the outfit they wanted to buried in (women tend to pick these out before they die) and undergarments. Again, shoes are not necessary, but many people pay tribute to the memory of people’s tendency toward having cold feet, so they bring socks.

If your loved one wore glasses or a wedding ring, you can bring those as well. They will be returned to you before your loved one is cremated.

You should also bring a picture of your loved one for the memorial or funeral service program and for the obituary. This can be an old picture, such as a high school or college picture, or it can be a recent or current picture.

The funeral director will need biographical information for the death certificate that will be registered with the state and for the obituary (if they are composing it). This information includes your loved one’s Social Security number, date of birth, city of birth, wedding date, parents’ full names and places of birth, siblings’ (and spouses’) names, children’s (and spouses’) names, and profession.

If the funeral home is composing the obituary, they will also need a biography of your loved one that highlights the accomplishments (personal and professional) of their life.

Military veterans are entitled to funeral benefits that include free inurnment in national cemeteries, free grave markers, and funeral honors (usually performed by local military reserve units or veteran’s volunteer groups). To receive these benefits, you’ll need to give the funeral director a copy (not the original) of your loved one’s military discharge orders (Form DD-214). The funeral director will coordinate all the arrangements with the local Department of Veterans Affairs.

If your loved one has funeral insurance and/or life insurance, you should bring copies of those policies to this meeting with the funeral director. Funeral insurance is a separate insurance policy that is specifically designated to cover your loved one’s final expenses.

For more information about cremation services in Sterling Heights, MI, our caring and knowledgeable staff at Lee-Ellena Funeral is here to assist you. You can visit our funeral home at 46530 Romeo Plank Rd., Macomb, MI 48044, or you can call us today at (586) 412-8999.

funeral homes in Sterling Heights, MI

Guide to Funeral Attire

If you’re wondering about funeral attire at funeral homes in Sterling Heights, MI, here are some time-tested guidelines about what you should – and should not – wear.

Don’t be surprised if you attend a funeral and you see people wearing all kinds of attire. You may see people dressed very formally. You may see people dressed in business casual clothing. And you may see people dressed way down, as if they are heading out to a recreational activity or getting ready to do yardwork.

This may be very disorienting and confusing as you wonder whose attire is appropriate for a funeral and whose is not. The reason that you see this wide and disparate range of attire is that some people have been taught about appropriate funeral attire, and they dress in a manner that shows respect to the deceased and the bereaved family.

Other people, who perhaps have never attended a funeral before, have not been taught that how they dress can be a symbol of respect or disrespect, as well as a reflection of the soberness of some events that demands different attire than what they normally wear throughout the course of the rest of their lives.

If you’re unsure about what is appropriate and what is not appropriate attire for a funeral, consider these broad thoughts about funerals and their purpose. A funeral is a ceremony that enables a grieving family to be comforted during the loss of a loved one. It is also a ceremony that pays tribute to someone who has died.

Therefore, the focus of funerals is the family and the deceased, not the other mourners who are attending. So, if what you are thinking about wearing would draw attention away from the family and the deceased to yourself, then you shouldn’t wear it.

Extremely casual clothing like shorts, t-shirts, jeans, baseball caps, flip-flops, sandals, and tennis shoes is not appropriate funeral attire. Because this type of attire makes the people wearing it stand out in the crowd of mourners, it naturally draws attention away from the bereaved family and their loved one who has died. It can also give the impression of being disrespectful and insensitive.

By the same token, provocative clothing that fits like a second skin, has plunging necklines, and hems that are extremely short (if you have to keep pulling a skirt down, it’s too tight and too short) is also inappropriate attire for a funeral.

If you’ve never attended a funeral and don’t know what attire you have that is acceptable, look through your closet and pick out an outfit that you would wear for a professional job interview at a corporation.

Remember that even if professional corporations have a business casual or casual dress code for employees, they expect interviewees for employment to dress more formally because that is part of what they use to evaluate whether they will hire them or not.

So, for women attending a funeral, dress modestly in a professional outfit that is black, dark brown, navy or gray. Wear a simple dress or nice pantsuit with a nice blouse. Keep jewelry to a minimum. Wear dress flat shoes.

Men attending a funeral should wear dark dress pants, a dress shirt, and a blazer. Ties are optional, but if they’re worn, they should be dark and plain. Dress shoes that are neat and clean should be worn.

For more information about funeral attire at funeral homes in Mount Sterling Heights, MI, our compassionate and experienced staff at Lee-Ellena Funeral Home can help. You can come by our funeral home at 46530 Romeo Plank Rd., Macomb, MI, 48044 or you can contact us today at (586) 412-8999.