Cremation services in Clinton Township, MI include grief support and grief resources. The term bereavement describes the grief that we feel when somebody we love dies. No two people grief the same way. Some people grieve inwardly, never talking about it. Other people grieve outwardly, and that’s all they talk about for a while. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, so we can’t compare our grief to somebody else’s grief, nor can they compare their grief with our grief. Grieving is not a competition.

To understand grief, we have to understand that it’s more than just sadness. There are many other emotions and feelings that make up grief. These may include guilt, anger, regret, and a longing for the person who is died. In the initial stages of grief, these emotions will likely be very strong. However, for some people the emotional intensity doesn’t hit them until they are well into the grieving process.

Emotions of grief can fluctuate. The fluctuation can be confusing. For example, if a loved one died after suffering a long illness, such as cancer or dementia, there will be sadness and pain for the loss. However, there also may be relief that they’re not suffering anymore. And that cannot feel right.

Thought processes in grief can bounce all over the place. This is a necessary part of processing the death of a loved one. There may be good memories that come right alongside troubling or sad memories. As the mind sorts through these during the grieving process, it organizes them in a hierarchy of pros and cons get consolidated into our overall perception of our loved one’s life.

In the balance, generally what emerges from this are very warm, comforting, and loving memories of our loved one. The grief never goes away, but it changes. It can still be sparked out of the blue by the oddest and seemingly trivial things. It can be a whiff of cologne or perfume. It can be a song we hear in the grocery store or at the dentist’s office. It can be anything, but it can be overwhelming and bring that intensity of grief back to the forefront momentarily.

Grief can be handled in two basic ways.

One way, which is known as instrumental grieving, puts all the emotional and mental energy on problem-solving tasks and minimizing emotional reactions. This type of grieving can appear to be cold and indifferent to other people, but it’s what the person who’s doing it is most comfortable with.

The other way in which people can handle grief is known as intuitive grieving. This involves an heightened emotional experience, which leads to sharing feelings, deeply excavating the lost relationship, and considering their own mortality. This type of grieving can also make other people uncomfortable, especially with the prospect of mortality always on the table for the person who is grieving this way.

However people grieve, they still have to get the same point where grief is an ever present constant that is dormant most of the time. This means getting on with life but it doesn’t mean that we ever forget the loved ones that we’ve lost. However, it may take some people longer to get to this point than it does others. And for those people, we need to be empathetic, patient, kind, and gentle, understanding that they’re doing the best they can and will get there eventually.

For more information grief resources as part of cremation services in Clinton Township, MI, our caring and knowledgeable staff at Lee-Ellena Funeral is here to assist you. You can visit our funeral home at 46530 Romeo Plank Rd., Macomb, MI 48044, or you can call us today at (586) 412-8999.