Cremation services in Clinton Township, MI

The Lessons of Grief

Cremation services in Clinton Township, MI included grief support and grief resources, which can be invaluable as bereaved family members go through the grieving process after a loved one dies.

Grief itself is complex, because we grieve on many levels and for many things when someone we love dies. We grieve for the loss of our loved one. But we also grieve for what that loss represents in how our lives were and how they will be going forward.

Much of grief is seated in the intertwinement of relationships. As we reflect on our relationship with our deceased loved one and their relationships with us and others, we sort through memories. Some are good. Some are bad. And some are ugly. But this is a necessary component of the grieving process, because we come to terms with them all.

If we grieve deeply and another family member doesn’t seem to be grieving at all, we should be careful not to evaluate that as an indication of love or commitment. It may or may not be.

Some people are just uncomfortable with the pain of grief, so they will stuff the hole of that loss with busyness, with people, and with things, giving the appearance of picking up and moving on without a second thought.

Other people slog through the pain of putting a scab over the wound of the hole of loss. It is a fitful process that can be so interminably long and so excruciatingly intense that it may look like it will never end. But it will, and they too will start to move forward with their lives.

So, one of the lessons of grief is learning compassion, mercy, and empathy. We may not understand how another person is grieving, but it doesn’t mean that they are not or they are wrong.

Another lesson we learn from going through the grieving process is who in our lives is with us and who is not. Part of death and grief involves purging, not always by us, everything in our lives and sometimes that includes the people who are in our lives.

Being patient and compassionate with someone who is grieving is almost impossible if you’ve never experienced deep grief or the loss of a very near and dear loved one. These people are in our lives, and we find out that they become critics about and experts on what grief looks like and how long it should last.

If we don’t meet their expectations about grief, they can be very harsh, very cruel, and very hurtful in their analysis of us. But they exit our lives – their choices – and, in the end, that’s for the best, because they’ve shown their true colors and they are not our friends. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, and this can exacerbate the feelings of loss and grief.

Another lesson we learn from grief, however, is who our ride-or-die friends are and that is a blessing. That’s our tribe. We hold on to them, love them, and cherish them. And we hang in there with them when life happens to them. They’re not going anywhere, and neither are we.

For more information grief resources as part of cremation services in Clinton Township, MI, our caring and knowledgeable staff at Lee-Ellena Funeral Home is here to assist you. You can visit our funeral home at 46530 Romeo Plank Rd., Macomb, MI 48044, or you can call us today at (586) 412-8999.