People who are planning funerals at funeral homes in Chesterfield Township, MI are often running on empty physically, emotionally, and mentally. Because of that, they can easily make mistakes when they undertake funeral planning.
One mistake that people commonly make is not asking any or enough questions when they are making funeral arrangements. Grief over the death of your loved one will feel overwhelming, especially in the days just after they have died. This sense of being submerged can take precedence over everything else that you have to do to prepare for your loved one’s funeral.
This is normal. It’s a sense of shock and numbness that is generated by brain chemicals in times of distress to help us simply endure them and get through them. While it can protect you from falling apart, it can also mute your awareness about everything else that’s happening.
Because of that, you will have the tendency to go on auto pilot through the funeral planning process without asking any or many questions about the specific arrangements you would like to have for your loved one.
That’s why you should take another family member or a close, trusted friend with you when you go to the funeral home to make funeral arrangements. This will give you another set of eyes and ears to make sure that the right questions are asked and answered.
If your loved one left written instructions for the kind of funeral they wished to have, then you’re one step ahead of the game. But, you still will need to make some decisions about how to best execute those wishes.
Having another family member or a friend you trust with you will help you, because they can offer suggestions about various parts of the funeral arrangements and they can ask the funeral director for guidance and advice in areas that are unfamiliar or that require special services or customization.
Your funeral director is well aware that you are essentially in a haze when you’re making funeral arrangements for your loved one. Most people are. Your funeral director will empathetically and kindly lead you through each step of the process, will coordinate the majority of the arrangements (so you don’t have to), and is always available if requests or questions come up during the process.
Another common funeral mistake that you can avoid is not having an adequate support system in place after your loved one’s funeral. There is a maxim that says “A funeral is not a day in a lifetime; it’s a lifetime in a day.”
In Western culture, there is a tendency to belief that grief over the death of a loved one fits into a limited (and very short) period of time, and that once the funeral is over, that’s the end of sadness and grief, and you should just get back to normal life as if nothing ever happened.
The problem with this belief is that something very traumatic happened when your loved one died. It is a trauma that you will live with in some shape or form the rest of your life. Grief doesn’t have rigid start and stop points.
While you may have not choice but to go back to work or school immediately after your loved one dies, your grief will still be palpable and profound.
That is why you need to have a support system in place that is able to help you process your grief, get through the rollercoaster of emotions that grief brings, and help you take care of day to day life (shopping, cooking, yard maintenance, car maintenance, etc.) when you are not able to.